12/10/10

11:04pm
WHAT WHAT WHAT?

I never thought I would want to see a movie based on “Rock-em, Sock-em Robots” and, you know what?  I still don’t.

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11:54pm
Top 3 News stories I was thinking about today
1.  China Invents their Own Peace Prize
You know it’s bad for your country when the person you imprisoned for speaking out against your government gets a Nobel Peace Prize, forcing you to put his family under house arrest hoping they won’t go to the ceremony to collect the award and telling all of your allies and trade partners to boycott said Global award ceremony.  Then, in order to prevent your citizens from hearing about it, you block all television broadcasting of ANY information about said ceremony and create YOUR OWN “Confucius Peace Prize” in order to legitimize your claim of being a “progressive and free society.”  Oh yeah, and the guy you gave YOUR MADE UP AWARD TO doesn’t even know about it and doesn’t show up to receive the award.

And the world still thinks you’re a douchebag.

2.  Former President is Needed to Make Current President Look Good
You know it’s bad for your presidency when you ask a former president (whose wife ran against you in the primaries and works for you and, some would suspect, is going to run against you again in two years) to give you advice about the current economy, how to work together with the opposing party and how to stop your OWN party from yelling at you.  Then, after you ask him the advice, he goes into the Presidential Briefing room and starts taking questions like he’s running the country…then you leave to go to an event with your wife, AND HE STAYS AND TAKES QUESTIONS…WHILE YOU’RE GONE…AND YOU’RE THE PRESIDENT…AND HE’S NOT…AND ALL THE PRESS IS ACTING LIKE THEY WISH HE STILL WAS.

Don’t worry, the world doesn’t think you’re a douchebag.

3.  Fast Food Kills an Old Man...By Beating the Crap Out of Him
I don’t even know what to say.  Maybe the old man was a crazy, homeless, drunk dude.  Maybe it’s true that fast food employees are violent, lazy jerks.  I have evidence of both.

And, yes, most crazy, homeless, drunk dudes are douchebags.